This guy I was going out with asked out my roommate.

His name was Jacob. He was blonde and had poor posture, but he was a boy and wore nice clothes. So naturally, when being asked out I said, “Yes.” The first date had its ups and downs. We played Frisbee golf. I can’t imagine being worse at anything in the universe. And he might as well been a champion disk-golfer. Mind you, I didn’t know the kid. So he must have felt like I was a total idiot because the average 20-year old should know how to get a Frisbee in generally the correct direction, right? And when I meant to throw the Frisbee to the right, and it went ridiculously to the left as if I did it on purpose, it was probably not too impressive. 

In any case, I felt like we were having fun and that my personality would be able to outshine my lack of “frolfing” technique. The conversation flowed easy enough, and we asked and answered first date questions with ease. When we were done with the worst game in the history of anything, we went to a gas station where he bought me root beer and we went to the park.  A fair enough first date. I wouldn’t mind going out with him again.

So I did. A week later he invited me over to play games. We made dessert, and he started slow dancing with me? (Whether it was cute or kind of bizarre, I couldn’t decide). Our conversations got a bit deeper and we delved into his two- year mission and my two- year hellish (and yet, rewarding) experience in Turkey. We once again played games that I was horrible at and I was once again slightly embarrassed but hoped my great attitude and funny nature would be impressive enough to ignore my Battleship and Egyptian Rat-screw skills.  Either way, I felt we had an enjoyable evening. And I figured he felt the same way.

The next morning I heard from him asking to go out again. And so we did the next day. Another fair enough date. We ate sushi and took a stroll in the park. He did bring a Frisbee, but I shut that down pretty fast. No sparks, but I also knew that perhaps another date would come because it was clear I enjoyed his company. And figured I would likely have to initiate it, because it was my turn.  The next week I gave him a call.  Terrifying. He didn’t answer. Being slightly embarrassed, I hung up quickly and erased my sent call to pretend it didn’t happen. Naturally. A couple hours elapsed when I had class with my roommate, Joy.

This is where the story gets humbling.

As we sat down for class she looked directly at me with a puzzled look on her face and said, “Sarah… I need to talk to you about something. And it’s kind of awkward.”

I urged her to confide in me and said that nothing could be too awkward to not tell me. She continued and said, “Well, I got asked out by Jacob tonight. And I haven’t said anything because I would never want to hurt our friendship and you’re way more important to me than him.”

At this point, a couple of things are going through my mind: The first being, “I can’t believe I called him the day he asked out my roommate. What are the dang odds of that?” The other being, “Wow. Pride. Gone.” It was one of those circumstances where I thought, “Wait. I understand why I don’t want to date you. But why don’t you want to date me?” So humbling I wanted to die. Either way, I gave her my blessing and commanded her to have fun and let me know how it went.

They went out that night and as he picked her up, the exact moment I walked into my front door. I didn’t look at him and went straight up the stairs.  It was weird. And my confidence was shaken. And I pretended I didn’t see him. Totally tactful and totally mature.

Now, I’m I glad this happened to me? Not particularly. However, I’m fine. And I’m awesome. And pride although shaken, is still intact and the next day (that actually being today), I’m laughing at the circumstance. The bottom line being: If he asks out your roommate, it’s nottt a big deal. Sure, it’s embarrassing. But clearly things wouldn’t work out, so why not let your buddy give it a try. And hey, this guy is kind of an idiot. Going for the roommate. Really? How necessary is that on a scale of 1 to 10. Step aside and let the roommate teach him manners. You can date someone that had a mother who cared enough to teach her son to mind his “P’s and Q’s”.