Sunday, April 1, 2012

I'm not stupid, but everyone else thinks so


This is a struggle I’ve had since high school. I first noticed people’s tendency to think I’m dumb when I moved the middle of my sophomore year. I was sitting in chemistry- a subject I literally was taught zip about in my American schooling- when my teacher asked me to recite various elements of the periodic table. Was this a joke? I knew nothing. He stared at me blankly and muttered something about the American school system and moved on.
This pattern continued throughout high school and has continued to seep into my college experience. It’s interesting. I actually have a fairly dominating personality. I lead the masses quite easily. In social settings I more often than not am the organizer. And people expect me to do so. However, in school projects never has anyone ever expected me to take the lead. They expect nothing from me other than comic relief. It’s a role I sometimes embrace. But more often than not, I can’t help but be irritated with the serious lack of being taken as someone with real ideas and real intelligence. I’ve asked myself why this is and have come to some basic conclusions.
I’m Reece Witherspoon from Legally Blonde. I’m small. Yes. I’m not ugly. I’m loud and I have fun. And as it happens, I’m not a moron. How fair is it that people who look and act a certain way are categorized in ways that show only a portion, or perhaps none of who we are. Take a look at my transcript. You’ll have a hard time finding poor grades. You’ll see a lot of A’s actually. However, because I don’t turn my transcript into a T-shirt and I do wear earrings from Forever 21, I am put into this class of stupidity. I am put in the same category as people that don’t try hard. Or people that don’t have to try hard because everything is handed to them on a silver platter. Nope. I’m not either of those people.
I remember one situation explicitly. I headed to Salt Lake City for a job interview. I walked into the room where I was greeted by a plain looking woman. I was wearing a skirt, a gold blouse and purple shoes. I looked like I could rock a job interview, but I could also be a fun person. As I stood up to meet the woman who was going to interview me, I saw her eyes widen and eyebrows raise as she scanned me up and down with her laser beams. I instantly felt uncomfortable and realized I was being judged from the start. Guess it wasn’t a smart outfit choice. But I have a feeling it would have been the same no matter what my attire had been that day.
It’s hard to be the person no one seems to take seriously. It’s hard not to believe people when they act like you are the idiot. This is where I some sort of epiphany that has changed the way I have acted and viewed my peers. Multiple times have I been one that is guilty of judging someone based on their appearance. I have categorized people in the past. Thick stitched jeans: Dude-bro. Victoria’s Secret Pink pants: Idiot broad. Tennis shoes and jeans: Nerd.
When I understand I was guilty of what I despised most, I took a step back. I thought about how I looked at others. I thought about how others saw me. What someone wears does say a bit about them. But how I judge someone based off what they wear says a lot about me. We cannot control how people think we are. I have felt many times that people didn’t give me a chance to be taken seriously. Those that matter will give each person the chance to show who they really are, not based on who they appear to be on the outside. It will be impossible to not be judged off how we look. We can control how we judge others though.

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