I wouldn’t come out and say I’m a shallow person. But I
guess it’s safe to say I can be. Just not in the same way a normal girl would
be though. I spent some time with this kid Ryan. We met through a mutual friend
we both would tease equally, giving us a shallow yet instant bond. Another blonde
mind you. He was cute. Deep blue eyes, nice muscular build. I actually found
him quite attractive. And he became more attractive after I found out a couple
of things about him. First of all, he owned all the seasons of The Office.
Dating or spending time with someone that owned this series was a serious
benefit. The thoughts that I could have access to this show whenever brought
serious happiness to my soul. As shallow as it was, that’s how I felt, and to
me, it was valid. I still kind of think it is.
He could do math—and well. I’m horrible at math. I’m about
as good at math as I am at being tall. Terrible subject. That spring semester I
had to take Math 108. For a normal person, this class would be a cakewalk.
Well, good thing it was NOT such a thing for me. I therefore, made it an
interest of mine to seek his help on this subject and had him do me little
favors such as my homework. He would help me, and then we would watch The
Office. Pretty good deal right?
Except not.
His voice was urgent and loud. He spoke quickly and it made
me nervous. Much like Kevin, I could always see his mind wandering and see him
turning each thing I said into something about him. The kid was extremely full of it and he loved himself. A
lot. I found myself only wanting to listen to him when he was explaining a math
problem or when asking me what episode I wanted to watch. Whenever he described
how great he was however, my brain would instantly shut off on default. He
would tell me often of his glory days in high school, and how he dated the
hottest girl and was QB and oh my GOSH.
To clarify, I’m not as high maintenance as I may sound. I
suppose I like to be listened to, but so did Gandhi. I actually really enjoy
listening to other people talk. I love hearing about their lives, their life
goals, past traumas, etc. I am fine having a conversation having nothing to do
with me, and at times, it’s actually refreshing. All I really ask is that they
don’t have to story top or make me feel like I’ve wasted my time and breath
when I do say something about myself. My only real request is that they at
least pretend like what I’m saying is interesting. I’m courteous on this level
up until the point where I realize they never care what I’m talking about. This
kid was such a boy.
Over the space of a couple of weeks, I realized it wasn’t
worth it. I could Hulu The Office and go to the Math Center for help in my
class. Once I had made this realization, I spoke with my friends about it. I
told them all the details and I told them loud and clear in the middle of our
university’s cafeteria. I think I’ll come out and say right now: I’m kind of an
idiot. As it turns out, one of his loyal buddies heard every word. And
delivered such words to him. Imagine my horror when I was confronted about it.
It was a huge mess. We’re okay now, but at the time I thought there was no way
we could bounce back.
I did gain a couple things from this experience. Besides the
obvious hours of favorite TV show watching, and a couple nice grades on
homework assignments, I also gained the knowledge that some things matter and
some things just don’t. It matters if a boy listens to you and gets your jokes.
It matters if his voice bugs you or if he’s arrogant. What toys he has and
whether or not he helps you with homework is not nearly as relevant. The odds
are you can find a boy that benefits you on a number of levels… such as
enjoying your time with them, and not just what he owns.
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